I was raised on a swamp in Ladner. Our yard looked like a junkyard, and our house did not have a foundation. We were the white trash family of Ladner. My stepfather had serious redneck denial and he passed it on to me. I have caused myself a great deal of emotional pain trying to deny what I was. I went to college for software development. I could not thrive in a white collar environment. I was living a double life, too afraid to ever let my true self show. The pain became too much to bear, and I could not keep the act up any longer. I let go of the fictional character, started to be myself. I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders immediately. My relationships with family and friends improved dramatically. The very people I was trying to impress by being phony. The only drawback, is that women seemed to like me better when I was being phony. I hope to find someone who can relate to my struggle. Someone who knows the pain of keeping her true self hidden and pretending to be someone else. I can't promise that I will like everything about you. If it's true, I promise that I can accept it.